I met my third boyfriend, who would later become my husband, after nearly a year and a half of being involved in marriage-oriented dating. His profile featured three photos, including ones where he was dressed in a suit and a shirt. All the selection fields were filled out, and his self-introduction briefly outlined how he likes to spend his weekends and what he looks for in a relationship with a woman.
Although I wasn’t particularly struck by his profile, I didn’t see any reason to reject him either, so we matched. After a week of exchanging one message per day, he invited me to dinner, and we agreed to meet at a local Japanese-style pub. He took care of the reservation.
When we first met at the rendezvous train station, my initial impression was that he looked as serious as he did in his photos. It also seemed that he hadn’t lied about his height.
Upon meeting, he immediately showed me his work ID card, which gave me a sense of security. We talked mainly about work and hobbies while dining in a private room at the pub for about two hours.
As we were parting, he asked for a handshake and said, “Let’s be friends,” which slightly surprised me. When I later asked him why he said that, he explained that I didn’t look like I was interested in marriage at that point.
The truth is, I had learned from previous dates that showing a desire to marry can be off-putting for men. Even during marriage-oriented dating, men tend to get turned off if a woman exudes a “want to get married” vibe. Also, my motivation for marriage-oriented dating had waned a little due to two previous relationships that had fizzled out.
Because of this, I wasn’t very enthusiastic about marriage, and it seemed that he picked up on that vibe. After I got home, he texted saying he’d like to meet again, so we planned our second date.
For our second date, he picked me up in his car and we drove to Yokohama Minato Mirai. We had lunch in Chinatown, bought some bubble tea, and strolled in Yamashita Park—a classic date itinerary. We talked mostly about our past relationships. Although we spent almost half the day together, he was always considerate of my pace, which made for an enjoyable and tireless day.
On our way back, we stopped by Denny’s for a light meal. I ordered a hamburger, and he got macaroni gratin. Watching him eat happily under the cozy lighting of the family restaurant, I thought, “He might be a good person.”
On our third date, he picked me up in his car again, and this time we went to Futako-Tamagawa Rise for dinner and a movie.
Before the date, he asked me what I’d like to eat, and when I said “Something ethnic,” it turned out he was thinking the same thing. Our first date involved Japanese food and the second one was a mix of Chinese and Western, so I thought it’d be nice to try something ethnic next. I was pleased to find out that he was on the same wavelength.
After the movie, it was already dark outside. We went up to the rooftop garden of Rise and sat on a bench overlooking the Tama River. It was then that he confessed his feelings, asking if I’d like to be his girlfriend. I happily accepted and when he asked if I was considering marriage, I answered, “Yes!”
This was how I began a relationship with my third boyfriend, this time with the prospect of marriage in mind. At that moment, I had mixed feelings—partly eager to finally settle down, yet also apprehensive about the possibility of another failed relationship.
